[ P ] not my circus, not my monkey

The cheers rang out in a rambunctious chorus, but they were not for her. For all her might she had failed to pin the much larger man and found herself crushed beneath his weight. It was a humbling moment for the Tiamat woman. Xandria was not too proud to admit when someone was stronger than her even if it stung her ego a little to lose in front of her family. It was a wasted opportunity to impress her mother and earn back some of the favour she had lost. When the brawl drew to a close she quietly excused herself to enjoy the rest of the festivities and brood over her failure to shine. A puppyhood of wrestling with a much larger brother had not prepared her for the real thing. She would have to train harder with Sethos.

She roamed the redwoods idly checking out each of the activities. Blindfolds and kissing… that didn’t appeal to her. Thoughts of her first kiss gave her a headache. A fortune teller? She didn’t believe in any of that mumbo jumbo. There was a sour fruity scent in the air that reminded her of the winter ball and a regretful night that was better left forgotten. She would not be partaking in any drinking ever again.

code & art by claerie

B

leary eyelids parted, sticky with sleep...or unconsciousness...maybe both. It was still dark all around, but it smelled Earthy and stuffy. While his eyes adjusted, he lifted himself with his forepaws only to bump his head that was already pounding and still swimming with whatever it was he ended up drinking yesteday. It was the good stuff, strong stuff...he'd have to seek out that bartender again eventually...ah, but first...

"Where the hell am I?" Valerian lifted himself a bit more slowly now, gingerly easing himself backward until he plopped out into the open air. "Sssssss, oooo...agh, nooo...too bright!" He sucked air I with a small hiss, squeezing his eyes shut as the sunlight threatened to gouge them out from his skull. Plopping himself back onto his haunches he opened them only enough to squint to find that he'd been sleeping halfway hanging out of a tree hollow.

Lifting a paw to rub at his temple, he was trying his best to remember exactly how he'd ended up here...unfortunately, he remembered four shots of alcohol and that about it. He turned his head this way and that, blinking rapidly while trying to discern where he was.

Trees forever kissed by flame...so he was still in Redwood. As he looked about he spotted someone moving through the forest, had almost missed them since they were about the same coloring of the woods themselves. He hopped up, swaying on his feet and went after the stranger to flag them down. "Eeeexcuuuse me! Hey, hey! Wait up now, wait up!"

Valerian scampered on shorter legs until he was just behind his newest acquaintance, halting on unsteady legs to huff and puff for a moment. "I need...to work...on my cardio..." He lifted his head, mouth open as he intended to ask directions, but at the sight of this particular wolf, he switched gears.

"Wait...I know you...you were uhh...where have I seen you before? Hmm...ohoho...wait, you're not ehh...married to a man naaamed Hersch, are ya?" He gave her a not so subtle wink, thinking that maybe, just maybe she was that lovely lady from that one time back in Inverness.

@Xandria

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

The lieutenant was contently perusing the various stalls set up around the centre of the woods, dark feathery tail swaying behind her. Sun bright eyes lingered over the various baubles and trinkets. She wasn't the type of girl to fuss over pretty objects, preferring practical things over aesthetics. They were nice to look at that much she could admit, but so was a flower.

"Eeeexcuuuse me! Hey, hey! Wait up now, wait up!" A voice called out for someone. She continued moving, unaware the man was hollering for her. It was only when he caught up, breathless and unsteady that she noticed he was trying to get her attention. Finally Xandria turned around, concern pinching the skin of her brow together. At first she thought he was a citizen in need of a soldier and she was prepared to assist him. Until he spoke again, claiming to know who she was. She was expecting her family's name to follow, but instead he asked if she was someone's wife. It might have been a fairly innocent case of mistaken identity if not for the very obvious wink.

"We've never met," she corrected him, her hard golden gaze watching him closely. Her nose twitched, taking in the ripe fruity smell of alcohol lingering around the man like a perfume. "Can I help you, sir?" she asked, but the underlying message was obvious. Are you going to be a problem?

code & art by claerie

“H

a! Ohhoho, oh my, I beg your pardon then, Miss!” Valerian let out a hearty laugh and then shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut and placing a paw against his forehead. “Now, I know we’ve, we’ve never met before, of course not! But, I do recognize you! I doooo, I swear it!”

His eyes fluttered open again and he leaned forward, eyeing her critically. “Just let me…think, for a moment…I remember because you were…you were on the ground…uhhmm…” And then it hit him like the spark that ignited a grand flame. “Wait! I know! You were in, in, in, the fight, yeah! The big brawl!”

Valerian straightened himself rather awkwardly and then started to dance on his toes. “I do know a few mooooves myself! The good ‘ole one-two! Ha! I bet I could take ya!” He accidentally tripped over his own feet and stumbled forward towards her. “Whoa-oaa!”

@Xandria

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

The man was certainly friendly, perhaps overly so towards a complete stranger like herself. Xandria didn’t know what to make of him. She didn’t want to immediately assume that he was intoxicated beyond clear judgement based on first impressions. He was drunk, that much she could tell, but whether or not that was her concern remained to be seen. The man rambled on cheerfully about how he was certain he had seen her before. On the ground. Of all his memories of the brawl he decided to recall that. Not her valiant struggle against a wolf almost twice her size, nope just her on the ground. The wrinkle between her eyes twitched as her brow furrowed further. ”I was on the ground for like five seconds,” she muttered under her breath.

She took a half step back when he started to dance around clumsily, insisting that he could take her on. ”You can barely stand,” she pointed out, shaking her head and steadied him with a forepaw against his chest. ”We’re not going to brawl. In fact you should probably head home before you hurt yourself,” she spoke clearly and firmly so that the man understood that she was not going to fight with him. If he insisted on trying to brawl however she was fairly confident that she could pin him.

Unfortunately for him she was an Imperial Soldier and not someone who would overlook his attempts at drunken mischief.

code & art by claerie

V

alerian toppled over head first, missing the auburn maiden and instead eating dirt. He popped back up instantly into an awkward seated position spitting out bits of the earth snorting to rid his nose of it as well. He looked this way and that suspiciously, realizing the woman had vanished like a ghost. "What the..."

"You can barely stand."

He jumped visibly at the sound of her voice behind him and maneuvered his legs to spin him around on his seated bum until he was facing her again. He pushed himself back into his feet again, readying himself but she shot him down quickly. "Not gonna brawl? My word! I knew I was intimidating but, by the Saint, I didn't expect you to surrender so easily after what I saw before!!"


@Xandria

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

Her concern was immediately justified when the drunk fell face first into the dirt. A mouthful of earth wasn’t enough to sober him up and he was back on his feet again in moments. He was surprisingly durable for a smaller wolf, she noticed, but did not remark upon it. The less attention she paid to his antics the better. Xandria suspected that acknowledging it would only encourage him, but her reluctance to engage with him didn’t deter him from taunting her. The insult succeeded in prickling her pride, golden eyes narrowing at his audacity.

Xandria advanced upon him and skillfully swept his legs out from under him with a forepaw. She wouldn’t wait for him to get back up, seizing the opportunity to pin him. ”You were saying?” she scoffed, looking down at him with the slightest bit of teeth showing beneath a curled lip.

”It wasn’t the brightest idea to pick a fight with an Imperial Soldier. Now are you done being a fool or do I have to arrest you?" she demanded, fully prepared to make good on her threat if he continued to make a nuisance of himself. It might be the only way to keep him from brawling with everyone he laid his eyes upon.

code & art by claerie

T

he fiery woman moved with such grace, her action a blur of motion that somehow also felt like slow motion. As his face collided with the earth again, Valerian could say with certainty that this femme was some kind of sorceress. This time he'd plunged nose first into the ground, before turning his head to the side and coughing, a trickle of blood beginning to stream from one nostril.

He didn't struggle, just lay there mentally recovering as he felt the weight of her body over his. "Holy mother of Neptune's mother..." Val rasped, coughing a few more times before smacking his lips, his ears now fully alert to anything more she had to say. His eyebrows raised as she pulled the Imperial Soldier card and he shifted underneath her to try to get comfortable as he chuckled aloud.

"Oohhhoho...arrest me, officer! You could shackle me aaany day!" He teased, turning his face further to peer up at his competitor so that he could waggle his eyebrows at her. Valerian continued to grin at her, a sly, charmer of a grin he liked to use in order to win a female over. But the longer he stared up into her blazing orbs, the more efficiently the cogs began to turn in his brain as the rust slowly chipped away from them. "Wait...you're serious." He gulped, his smile vanishing as he was helplessly held to her mercy.

@Xandria

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck

Forcing him off his feet didn’t seem to knock any sense into him, in fact if it was possible he seemed less coherent than before, muttering about some holy mother’s mother. Xandria narrowed her eyes at the nonsense he was spewing, wondering if she had been a little too rough with him and caused him to have a concussion or something. The laugh was enough to assure her that there was nothing wrong with him. She gritted her teeth, seething at what she perceived as the drunk mocking her. A silent glare was offered in response to his encouragement to arrest him. He obviously wasn’t taking her seriously and that was insulting. ”Well since you’re so eager to spend a night in the castle dungeon...” she answered, voice cold and matter of fact.


It finally dawned on him that she wasn’t joking around. He actually seemed a little nervous now. Good. She could use this to teach him a lesson. ”I don’t mess around," Xandria answered firmly, making sure he understood just how serious she was. "Now up you get,” she urged him, giving him enough space to climb back to his feet while keeping one paw on his shoulder. She wasn’t entirely sure if she was going to arrest him yet, but she was intent on making a deliberate show of escorting him back to the castle and making him sweat.

code & art by claerie

"D

epends on what kind of dungeon we're talking about, darling." Valerian joked lightly, as usual trying to slide the comic relief in where he could. He knew he was flirting with danger, however, so he blinked rounded, innocent ocean eyes up at the female soldier.

She eventually released him and he lifted himself up, shaking earthen debris from his pelt haphazardly. He stumbled on the paws, the motion of the shake dizzying him for a brief moment before he turned towards her. He wasn't entirely sure he was off the hook, but it was nothing that his charm and boyish good looks couldn't fix!

He flashed the her a toothy grin, adjusting his stance as he took on the role of the Casanova. "You've got incredible strength, like that of a Warrior Queen! Graceful and swift with an air of command and no tolerance for fuckery!"

Valerian proclaimed this statement as though it were spoken word and he was upon a stage...then again, in his mind, be might as well be. "The army certainly have themselves a gem! A diamond! Powerful! Virtually indestructible!" He leaned in, raising his eyebrows. "And let's not forget, positively radiant!"

@Xandria

art and code by Yahtzee-Penguiduck