[ P ] i like the way you kiss me

Her eyes were bright as she looked to him as if he were the sun cresting a snow-topped mountain to warm a wintery morning. She moved towards him automatically; like two magnets that honed in on each other as he offered his arm, and his warmth. She was quick to close the distance between them, not an ounce of hesitation existing and she let out a giggle through her clacking teeth as their warmth soon spread like molasses through her limbs, warming her up right down into her bones. Curling into the hollow of his chest, she gently rested her cheek against him as their bodies hummed back to a normal temperature and their thick coats began to dry out.

After a while, he sighed, and moved to kiss her neck. And she let him, even as the roar of blood pulsing in her ears drowned out that of the waterfall outside of this conveniently placed cave.

"Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?" he asked in a hushed whisper, but it sounded so loud here, with just the two of them. She quickly became acutely aware that they were very alone, and a different kind of tension that she wasn't used to crackled like electricity in the air around them. He was so close, she could see the beat of his heart in the artery of his neck, and her eyes lingered there for a few minutes as she waited for the swelling of her dumb tongue to go away.

"I, uh, well, just now actually," she wistfully laughed, unable to meet his eyes for the time being. But she had to one up him, keep him on his toes just as much as he did to her. Scrambling, she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. "Has anyone ever told you that you smell really good?" she paused, "I wasn't expecting that because you know... well, I just-- you smell like the drinks we've had at the bar, and those just smell so strong, it's just so overwhelming but on you," she almost looked like she needed to fan herself, "you smell delicious, actually-- I could just drink you up--" she blabbered, anxiety causing her words to run faster than her brain could stop them. Clamping her mouth shut with her own two paws, her purple eyes widened in humiliation as she shook her head apologetically, "I'm sorry," she whispered, her cheeks on fire as she pressed her forehead to his chest.

table by ferus, image by ashon, bg from unsplash

"I, uh, well, just now actually," she said and he peeled himself away only to look at her a little bit surprise. He could sense her nervousness and soon, he wouldn't have to guess because she started rambling about the way he smelled. His lips curved into a grin as she stopped, apologized and rested her head on his chest. "You have nothing to apologize for," he said softly, stroking a paw across her shoulders in what was meant to be a comforting manner. "And I find it downright criminal that nobody's ever told you that before," he said truthfully. He breathed in her scent and looked off into the darkness as he held her. "If it helps, I think you smell really good too. Like a... warm summer day," he said, pondering the spice and cedar that seemed to always accompany her personal scent.

He dropped his paw to the ground, finding hers and placing it over it before saying softly. "It's okay to be nervous, Lenora. I get that most of this is new to you?" he asked, though the question was mostly rhetorical. "Just tell me what you want and tell me when you're not comfortable. I don't want to do anything to hurt you," he said. Yeah, like getting her into this mess in the first place, idiot, his insecure mind spat back at him.

"..."

He was so calm. Instead of grimacing at her rambling, or thinking her some dumb naïve girl, Declan simply smiled and offered reassurance. Despite the chaotic nature of their push-and-pull relationship so far, he still remained, still pursued her even if she didn't really understand why. Purple eyes watched him carefully as he spoke, and soon she was lost in the fiery irises she had come to grow so used to. They burned with a fire in which she wondered just what the fuel was... what drove him to live? What had he done in his life so far to be the man he was now? Questions blossomed, making her realize she didn't know much about him - just that he was on the wrong side of the law, and she was desperate to know why. Why did he act like he had no way out?

Her face must have displayed the array of emotions she felt - confusion, wariness, curiosity. The weight of his paw on hers grounded her, though, and while she had been looking at him, she hadn't been seeing him, as she was so lost in her thoughts. "It's okay to be nervous, Lenora. I get that most of this is new to you?" a timid smile was the answer to his question. "Just tell me what you want and tell me when you're not comfortable. I don't want to do anything to hurt you," Lenora was... astonished. Everything she'd known - or thought she'd known - about what was right and wrong, black and white, seemed wrong now. Before, all criminals were bad, good-for-nothing wolves that amounted to nothing and belonged behind bars. But Declan was challenging that ideology, and she didn't know how to wrestle with that. For a moment, she wished she had her dad here to help her.

"I don't know what I want," she finally whispered, her eyes dropping as a mist of tears made them sparkle in the dim light of the cave. All of a sudden, the rush of emotions from the last couple of weeks hit her like a brick wall, as if being with Declan made her... relax, and not feel so defensive. "My life have been so cruel lately, I... I feel so alone. And I'm pretty sure most of my family hates me now," she added the last sentence with a humourless laugh. The silvery girl didn't know why she was even telling him any of this. He didn't need her life story, or her emotional roller coaster. He'd already tried to get in her pants once, surely that's what this was about... right? Insecurity made her freeze up, her teeth clicking together as she began to withdraw into herself again.

table by ferus, image by ashon, bg from unsplash

He could tell she was battling something within herself, though he was not certain what. Maybe she was coming around to the fact that he wasn't all that bad or maybe it was something else -- it couldn't be easy figuring out that life wasn't black or white. It was a whole lotta gray most of the time and it was hard to navigate, even harder depending on what side you were on. Finally, she spoke, and when she did he was surprised to hear her speak about her family of all things. However, it didn't last long and she didn't entirely open up as she fell back into silence, her teeth clicking shut as if to lock and throw away the key to her saying too much. Declan knew what that was like, he couldn't speak on his own family either but she probably had different reasons as to why than literal death.

"Why would you family hate you?" he asked, pressing gently and offering her a tentative look. "I don't see how anyone could hate you," he added, this time smiling warmly. He had plenty of reason to 'hate' her himself, being a criminal and her being the law. It just didn't work...

Or could it...?

Somehow, he hoped it could, and maybe if he could ever be free of the chains of his family he truly could turn over a new leaf and prove to her that he was worthy of her and of many more things. Though he would have to get through his own insecurities telling him that he wasn't.

"..."

Of course he didn’t understand. His question, for whatever reason, spurned a flare of anger that flashed in her purple eyes. What would he know about being bound to duty, considering he was nothing more than a criminal? Ignoring the soft voice in the back of her head that attempted to reason with her about how he had begun to mean something more, she instead subconsciously leaned a little away from him as her walls quickly rose back up around her vulnerable, aching heart.

“I don’t expect you to get it,” she mumbled dejectedly. “and we hardly know each other. I’ve done bad things. You should hate me too - I tried to arrest you. I probably still should… she paused for a moment, head tilting to the side as she slowly looked at him. “Why /don't/ you hate me?” she questioned genuinely, curiosity wiping the sadness from the tone of her voice.

table by ferus, image by ashon, bg from unsplash

He sighed as she looked at him with accusing eyes once more. His ears flicked as she questioned him, the anger slipping from her tone as sadness enveloped her. He drew her in, kissing her forehead and shrugging his shoulders. "I find you too interesting to hate. This thing we have is fun, despite everything." he admitted. "Look... I know you think I'm the bad guy, but I really don't like doing what I do. I only do it... because..." he trailed off, his tone changing as he struggled to tell her about his horrible family. It was a dilemma because he did not want to get them in trouble but he also didn't like being dragged down to their level.

"I think you don't trust me and I want you to." he said softly. "I am forced into this life by my father. If I try to leave, he'll kill me." he said quietly, his voice echoing around the chamber beneath roar of the falls just ahead. Lachlan might not do it himself, but he'd get it done one way or another. After all, his half-brother had stopped showing up recently and Declan didn't even want to know why that was.

"And yes, we don't know each other well but we can learn. We can get to know each other and we can tell each other about the bad things we've done." he said, offering a small smile as he pulled away. He wanted her to understand that this life... it wasn't his chosen one and in another, he'd likely be something different.

"..."