[ AW ] The Hermit

the moon will swallow me whole

Meissa draws the Hermit. It's time for inner reflection, to seek wisdom in one's own strength and balance. - Jamie

Ah, how ironic, that the fortune teller would give her such a spot on fucking fortune. It was probably obvious on her face, anyways. Despite the attempts she made all the time to cover up her nervous disposition, she couldn't help but let it through.

It made her push away wolves who could be friends, who could be more.

It made her distrust them.

After all, any word from their mouths could be lies, aiming to tease or mock her. Perhaps to drag her along. It was better not to get too close to anyone, lest they see her as a potential mark.

She shouldered through the crowd waiting for their fortunes, avoiding the lingering scent of a certain doctor who she figured would be stopping for a fortune as well. Perhaps his would be less "wow you suck, get your shit together."

Well, she supposed it wasn't exactly that. It was inner reflection, but what did that mean? She spent half her days reflecting on herself and her bitterness. Reflecting on how it felt like she couldn't go a day without making a fool out of herself in one way or another.

She wished she could rewind half the time, wished she could go back to being a pup and being free. Even then, though, she knew she wasn't truly free. The abandonment hadn't quite sunk in yet at that point, but she had been hungry, alone, knowing that any of her peers would give her up for a leg of deer or a warm nest for the night.

The woman made her way down the bank of a stream to have a drink.

She sat at the edge of the water, staring into the glittering nonsense below. Her anger, her despair, was turning cold. She thought back to the incident with the doctor, back to incidents even further back in her history. Bile rose in her throat as she realized something.

So, she closed her eyes, and began to imagine.

She saw herself within herself, within the darkness of her ribs. She saw strange shapes there, moving through the darkness, and focused on them. Their faces slowly clarified and she stiffened. Glared into his eyes, the smug look upon his face. This was what was left, the tie, the emotions connecting her to the man of her past.

In her mind, she leaped for him. Tore him asunder, jaws ripping into the man's throat and face and gouging his eyes out. Threw him beyond, out of her heart.

He did not deserve a place there.

He was dead to her.

Then she turned to the other shapes. The shadows that would not clarify. These, she wanted to throw from her heart, but could not.

And in her mind's eye, she looked to the foggy shape with the forest green eyes. The man who had seemed friendly at first, kindly. She had thought him a potential friend and in the revelry she had found him and partook in the festival only to-

She threw him from her mind, but did not rip him apart.

Sure, he was an asshole.

But she kind of understood why the ass had been so shocked.

Didn't make it any better, he'd still spoken out of turn and so very rudely. To insinuate she was a whore for partaking in the kissing booth! But she shoved him from her mind and went to work fortifying. Imagined trees growing up along the edges of her heart, binding it, protecting it from the beyond.

When finally she was done, she was lying at the edge of the stream, panting, breath steaming into the evening air.

Wolves were everywhere, milling about the woods, setting a very different scene from the last time he was here, hunting for those who lurked in shadows when no one was around. And also, all the color. It was nearly insanity… Monarch had never seen this much color even in a field of flowers. He was a bit bewildered, and felt extremely out of place. Despite being here now for a while despite being part of several of these they all felt wrong somehow, like he shouldn’t participate. Maybe because he wasn’t born here. Always an outsider no matter what. "Another day, another party…” he murmured to himself, voice low. Regardless of those feelings however, here he was, ambling slowly through the masses, his blue eyes casting over the various activities that the wolves were joining, that feeling of loneliness hard to dismiss and he saw no one he recognized. Monarch thought Ara would be here… in fact, he was sure of it, but he couldn’t see her anywhere, and had to swallow down his disappointment. Monarch used to be good on his own, but it didn’t feel the same any more. If he was honest with himself that might be the main reason he was here at all. Looking for her. The huff of a sigh left his lungs as he paused near the edge of the festivities, casting another glance around, but nothing caught his eye. No flash of white. Monarch turned away then, seeking the water and walked along it to leave, to go home. He didn’t make it far however, before he came across someone else, alone, lying by the water, her breath heavy almost as if she had been running. He paused, a frown forming between his brows, blue eyes lingering on the colorful female as her face seemed stricken in some way that he couldn’t identify. He could turn and walk away and it was definitely something he’d usually do in the past however… taking a chance on Ara had worked out, despite all the awkward at the beginning. Maybe he should take more chances. Another sigh, somewhat resigned, before he stepped closer. "Are you alright?” Monarch asked, his frown still there, somewhat in between concern and uncertainty whether he should be bothering.

STOCK➤ Dawnthieves ART ➤ AMPHI

@Meissa