[ P ] I still hear the call of life

Existence stretched out before him like threads pulling him back together and out of the peaceful void that death had granted him. He missed the silence, no more thoughts, no more pain, no more Reuben. Light flooded in, colour painting the sky and ground in vibrant hues as the echoes of who he used to be swirled into his familiar shape. A single thought breached the deathly silence disturbed by the waves of his emotions. Why? This whisper of who he was could not feel the warmth of the sun or the tickle of the grass beneath his paws. Reuben was little more than a shadow on a wall. He walked without weight to his steps, leaving no trace of himself behind, moving with the wind and drifting like a leaf carried in the breeze.

The ghost lingered near the bloodstained earth, wondering if it was his or some other unfortunate soul's that still remained. His uncertain thoughts shifted to Rayne and he hoped that news of his death had not reached her. He wanted to be passing regret, a distant memory that she would forget with time, but he knew her feelings were much too deep to be watered down by time. Reuben's own heart if it had been warm with life would have still fluttered by the mere sight of her summer sky eyes. It was a love that persisted beyond the mortal realm and part of him believed it was this feeling that brought him back.

code: elyon | art: ashon

Rayne wasn't even sure she had left the area of Reuben's death since it happened. Home called her back, but she found herself unable to return, her paws glued to the Yorkshire ground where her world had fallen apart. She felt disconnected, as if her heart had been ripped from her chest and scattered on the very floor she stood upon now. His blood still stained the ground red; though darkened over time, it served as a grim reminder that he would never again be present in her life. She sat and stared at the stage, and each time she blinked, she could see the guillotine fall, the cheers from the crowd resonating in the background of her memories. Her throat tightened, and heat swelled in her cheeks as tears formed at the edges of her eyes, her teeth clenched tightly, causing her jaw to ache.

“Why?” she spoke softly into the chilled air, her blue gaze resting on her paws. Her emotions ran high—anger, sadness, confusion—everything that kept her awake at night, tossing and turning. Had she told him everything she wanted to? Did he know how much she truly loved him? Was she too harsh the last time they met?

If only she had known that would be the last time she could spend in his presence, forgiving him and basking in the warmth of his embrace.

She couldn't help but feel angry with herself for being caught up in other things, though they were beyond her control. She should have been there for him, should have devised a plan to free him and Sullivan. Now they were both gone. Rayne hated the army and anyone in it, and the fire of hatred burned deeply within her—an emotion she had never been too familiar with.

Rayne looked at the stage one more time before she finally stood, the wind suddenly growing much colder than it already was. Her brows knit together, silence hung eerily in the air and suddenly all the background noise grew quiet. Her head turned over her shoulder as a figure formed before her, she had to blink a couple times in disbelief when she saw Reuben stand before her. Not in his sleek dark blue robe, but the very version of himself he was always meant to be.

Rayne's heart felt constricted in her chest as she stared at him, her mouth partially gaped open as the fire in her throat flared. "Reuben?" How could it be? She moved closer to him, to brush her nose against the thick of his nape, but her muzzle would cast through him which caused her to retract back.

This had to be a dream as she chalked it up to being so overly tired from crying each night that she was simply hallucinating.

code // art

A whine trembled in Reuben’s throat, his voice shaking with the weight of his grief as he was swept away in those summer sky eyes. Her warmth and love for him was like a beacon to the lost soul mired in death. He reached out with misty paws, longing to feel the warmth of her snug against his chest. Rayne slipped through his grasp, no matter how many times he tried his touch did not reach her, but passed through her as if he were made of the air itself.

The cold emptiness of his immaterial existence had robbed him of even this simple pleasure. Death had drawn a line between them. “Rayne,” he replied, translucent green eyes full of fondness and pained longing for his beloved. “Don’t cry,” he pleaded softly, settling next to her as close as he could without ruining the illusion of closeness. It was all he could do to console her. More and more his mistakes were piling up before him. Sulliven’s life and Rayne’s future. It seemed that grief would be his legacy and it made him loath himself all the more.

“I always hurt you,” he whispered more to himself than to her. “But I never wanted that ..,” a pained sigh followed and Reuben looked at her again. “M'eudail. I love you,” (My darling) Reuben told her, words that had never been spoken during their brief time together. He had admitted to falling for her, but never the depth of his emotions. This posthumous confession was something that he had regretted never telling her whilst he’d had the chance and now that he had it was already too late.

code: elyon | art: ashon

He reached out for her in return but passed through her touch, the soft whine that escaped him made her swell with deepened sadness. It beat rapidly against her chest, her throat still constricted from the threat of tears that tainted her eyes as they glazed over the phantom features of his face. Don't cry' her lip quivered as she bit it, swallowing back the lump in her throat while she tried to steady herself, but failed. Tears cast over her cheeks, slowly rolling between the delicate furs before she swiped a paw over her eyes to dry them away. She knew he didn't want her to cry and she didn't want to cause him anymore grief, but the pain was still so fresh and the knowledge that they would never be anything more killed her inside. Reuben was gone, forever, no longer able to touch him, kiss him, or simply be in the warmth of his embrace would forever live with her.

'I love you.' Her eyes softened at him at the words, to hear them spoken aloud for the first time. She wanted to just reach out and hold him, but was quickly reminded that she couldn't. Her head shook softly, a subtle anger burned within her, but it was not directed at him. "Fuck them...I hate them!" Her tone was iced over, her blood boiled beneath her skin heating her to the very touch. "I hate them, all of them." Reuben had once seen Rayne ignited with anger, but this was a different type. Hatred was a foreign feeling to her, but when spoke she felt nothing less. "I hate what they did to you, the position they put you in, the consequences you had to pay because they are cowards who force others to do their bidding. They make you a pawn and dispose of you when they're done!" Her teeth clenched together as the slow roll of tears stained her cheeks again, she pulled her gaze from him and looked at the ground while she steadied her breath.

"They took you away from me...forever," her words felt empty, a piece of her being taken that day that Reuben's life was stolen. And they hadn't just killed Reuben, but Sullivan as well, despite him being the innocent party in the matter. They had no stipulations on who deserved to live or die, their only desire being to silence those because they simply could.

"I loved you Reuben, I will always love you. That's something they can never take from me." She was finally able to find his gaze once more as she spoke, knowing this would probably be the last time she was able to tell him.

code // art